May: I Don’t Know

The year came quickly. When I saw the calendar reminder, I had to trace back to certify that it was in fact true. A year ago, I started my own business from my house, I started a website, a social media page, and I began this blog.

I was so scared but even within the fear, I felt sure enough to start, even if it was slowly and sweetly. In reflecting on last year’s me, I feel so in love with her.

Today has been a struggle, it took me days of writer’s block and over editing to finally just publish,but here I am.

Every milestone we meet, meets us back with a reflection and this time around it feels as though last year I was more wise and grounded than today. 

Funny enough, growth hasn’t felt the way I had expected. It’s not bad or good, just an increased awareness. 

I feel everything deeply and all at once lately. 

I don’t know what to write about, because the only thing that feels true is: I don’t know. 

About myself, about work, about others, about my capacity to write, about anything. 

The last month brought up a lot of  inner child work and other tenderizing experiences. It’s so humbling to be human and to be honest, I constantly resist it. Which is why I may be so tired these days, so I finally took a break, went to the mountains and secretly hoped I would figure something out, but I didn’t. 

Which has started to feel okay. I am grateful to the wise and grounded woman from last year that carried me here. 

She got me this far, as long as I am curious, kind, and compassionate, at least what's to come will be interesting. 

So, here’s to a year completed and onto the unknown!!!