December

I guess December started many days ago but I am only just arriving. 

To be transparent, I am tired. In more ways than I expected. I set my intention for the month as, simply just soak it in. Take in every moment with friends, with my husband, make time for family, and enjoy the down time that the holiday offers me. 

Typically December is a little slower due to folks having more expenses and plans, there are more events to attend, and massage therapy isn’t a priority. Which is understandable!

So I choose to go with the season and not against it. 

Which is a privilege that should be acknowledged. I wholeheartedly believe in the benefits of being gentle. Rest and care is not earned, it is a human right. Some of us have more privileges to be able to do something more immediate about it, while others have less resources or free time. 

I, just like you, am in need of serious rest, delicate care, soft words, and beautiful things and moments. This year came fast. There are things I am tired of, stressed about, and serious things I am fearful for. 

But I am also hopeful. 

I’ve postponed sending anything out, because I’m not sure what to say. I am only soaking in what I can. Filling up on moments, people, and aloneness too. 

I’ve had more time to spend with myself. 

I feel grief and joy like a rapture these days. There is a lot I have learned of myself and have even managed to surprise myself at a point in my life when I thought I knew all of me. 

And it's nice and weird. I am the sweetest I have ever been with myself today, and it’s foreign! I’ve taken on professions in which all the focus had to be on the care of others. 

Yet, for the first time in my life, I am so deeply caring for myself. I haven’t bought a single shoe, I have not gotten my nails done, and I have not gone to the store to splurge on myself. 

I’m simply being nice. 

And it has meant the world to me. 

Whether the holidays are a hoopla or just numbers on a calendar, I hope that you get what you are looking for. That as the following year opens, we can hold each other better, we can hold each other higher, and do the same for ourselves. 

Because I love you and I love me, because you are me and I am you. 

Happy Holidays.